And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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