I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
