Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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