Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
This is classic penis vs brain.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
