Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
