I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
