its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize