he puts the penis in happiness.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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