please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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