Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
