Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
