NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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