Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
