I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
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Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
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Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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