A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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