ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
