everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
That accounts for only three of the penises
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize