I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
