i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize