Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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