That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
They have beer where we have blood.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
