Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
