i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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