you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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