mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
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the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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