You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
