maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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