It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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