Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
