We're like a lot better than the average bears
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
My day in three words: secret purse cake
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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