Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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