just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
