This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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