she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
