What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
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I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
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please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize