its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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