a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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