i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
