I feel like I'm in dance class right now
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
