Cold hands, warm shart.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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