How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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