never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
