Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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