I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm at about main and main street
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
