Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
