Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
