There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
