but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You need a sexual gate keeper
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
this is an emotional support booty call
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
