if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
We talked him into tasing himself.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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