Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
She announced her abortion via fbk
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize