Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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