So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
