Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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