now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
