girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
The uberlube is also flammable
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
