I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
