I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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