I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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