ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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