Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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