We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
