Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
